Oh how I wish I would’ve read some of these earlier.  Unfortunately, in the hectic daily schedule of command I seldom had time to complete all mandatory tasks, be available for my troops and still have a life.  As I sit here just recently moving on from command I would say that one of the rules I wish I would’ve paid closer attention to as a leader is:

Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

By nature I am a very competitive person.  I was an AIT commander for one of the largest specialties in the Army and often had classes comprised of well over 300 students.  My goal in command was to be the best!  I wanted my cadre to have the highest pt scores, have the most schools, be the most disciplined and still manage to have a life.  For my students, I begged them to drink the proverbial coolaid and never quit.  They were to also have the best academic scores, have the best PT scores and in many ways, be brainwashed to think that its us against the world. Unfortunately,  it is almost impossible for us all to meet all the metrics I was wanting to achieve.  Cadre need rest, AIT Students are humans and will make mistakes.  And wouldn’t you know, even with all the begging and persuading I often did as a commander asking a Soldier to stay the course and never quit, some of them still quit.  As a result of my relentless drive for excellence, I would often work longer, harder (not always smarter) and tried my best never to miss a single event for which my company was going to be represented in any way.  In my view, if I was there I was leading from the front.

What I failed to realize is that all those metrics that I was trying to hit came at a large personal cost.  At times I neglected my family to be with my Soldiers.  I felt worse about leaving my cadre pulling late shifts than I did leaving my wife and kids to take care of themselves and neglected my own personal physical fitness to ensure that my company was by all accounts the best in the BN.

As stated before, I am now post command and no, I did not get the highest OER rating. Truth be told I did not get to finish my full 24 months. When the time came to move on I was left feeling empty, disillusioned and almost in grief over not being a commander anymore.  However, rule number 3 is one that I have to deal with on a daily basis now.  I am not my callsign, I am not just an ex commander of some great unit. I am a father, a sometimes lousy husband, a friend to some, an annoyance to others, but above all I am a caring leader who did the best possible to ensure mission success.  I have now come to the conclusion, that if I failed in some way to accomplish all, that does not make me less of a leader, it just makes me human.