I agree with both of you! Be your own leader. Find what works and use it. Yes, as a leader you need a certain amount of “separation,” but that doesn’t mean be averse to your Soldiers. Honestly, I would avoid being aloof, your Soldiers with think you don’t care and that you’re never around. You can be charismatic and friendly, but know when it’s time to be serious and, more importantly, when you are being serious, then your Soldiers need to respect and listen to you.

There are many myths about introverts, e.g. we’re shy, quiet, judgmental, anti-social, rude, and many more, but that’s all wrong. I’m none of that, but I do succeed at leadership differently than extroverts. We (introverts) can be just as successful as extroverts by recognizing and understand what makes us different. For instance, we’re smarter, better looking, have better personal relationships, can speak and empathize better in one-on-one conversations…okay, I’m obviously joking around, but you get the point.

Being an introvert (for me) means that it takes more time to recharge after social interactions. It doesn’t mean you can’t lead and it doesn’t mean you don’t like people. You just probably prefer more downtime than others. I love being around my Soldiers and there’s nothing more exciting than leading them during missions, exercises, giving awards, promotions/advancements etc., but (again for me), when the mission is over, then the mission is over and it’s time to recover and get ready for the next big thing.

Too much social interaction can wear down introverts, whereas extroverts get “charged” by social interactions – so the world is staked in their favor. However, you are a Soldier, and you (and I!) are expected to be there when it counts and fight through to the end. If you are a good Soldier, then you will do that regardless if you are an introvert or extrovert. Just remember, there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert and, to be fair, there is also nothing wrong with being an extrovert.