As an NCO for close to 10 years and then an officer for 16 more, here is my take:

1.  As @Lucas.v.hobbs mentions, as an NCO I wanted to be “friends” with my lieutenant/captain but to me that meant having a friendly/joking working relationship.  I did not expect to be friends that went to dinner together or spent time at each other’s house.  I just expected a comfortable atmosphere at the office.

2.  As an NCO, I wanted the officers to tell me what they wanted done, but, I didn’t want them to tell me how I should do my job.  If you want me to suck the egg, I will, just don’t tell me how to suck it.  I taught many things to my officers about better ways to get things done.

3.  As an officer, I needed to let go of the worry that if I didn’t do it myself, it wouldn’t get done right.  That was tough for me but I got over it.  Just because I’m in charge doesn’t make me the smartest person in the room, it only makes me the person responsible for what happens, or fails to happen.  I learned a number of things from my SPCs and SGTs that I still use to this day. Having trust and confidence in your NCOs will go a long way in establishing your relationship.

4.  Verification is key.  As an NCO I did not take verification of my work as an insult, as a matter of fact, I took it as a challenge.  I would think about what I would check if I was in charge to make sure it was done right and I would ensure those things were done to the standard or higher.  Once my LT or CPT saw that I was on top of things, my word became good enough, however, I still continued to verify with them all the things I had done.

5.  I never yelled at or demeaned my NCOs, or any Soldier for that matter.  If I looked at them and told them I was disappointed, that was just as good as if I had taken them “behind the shed.”  MG Schofield had it right when he said  “The discipline which makes the soldiers of a free country reliable in battle is not to be gained by harsh or tyrannical treatment. …”