My Platoon Sergeant was the person I gave the power to pull me aside and give me the gut check on my performance, professional and private, and how that reflected on the platoon. These conversations served as the bedrock for our relationship. Even when he was mad about a decision or an issue, instead of ‘defending’ my choices – I always took out a pen and paper, wrote them down, and took a self-look to critically think about my performance. This always de-escalated the conversation, and let him know that I was open to feedback in improving my performance.

These were the most important conversations I’ve had in my life, let alone as an active duty officer. In my eyes I would not have gone on to be as successful as I have been if he didn’t take the time to have very hard and uncomfortable conversations with me when I was a young lieutenant.

Establish the relationship of trust and empowerment, own your role as the officer, and I think everything else will flow naturally.