Tools. Tools. Tools. (and a story)

At one point, I had six FRGs simultaneously. They were kick@$$. The spouses did events. They were self-sufficient and even, when needed, self-policing. With the support of a FRSA all the admin was seamless and easy…

Then, I had one FRG, it was a struggle. Participation was low. There were really weird admin issues and difficulties with consensus on spouse leadership… (all things we worked through, eventually).

Can you guess the difference between the two? I’ll give you a sec… You might get it immediately, it took me months of frustration. Then, it came to me one night while I was trying to brainstorm new ideas to increase engagement from the families. I literally gasped when the lightbulb finally turned on…

SOLDIERS! The SOLDIERS were the difference! The first experience was with Company FRGs while deployed. As a Battalion Rear-D Commander, I went to all the company FRG events and worked a “support and smile” circuit. The spouses, on their own, ran awesome FRGs. The second experience was with my Company when we were home. I was focusing on getting the spouses engaged through limited interactions and the Soldiers were inadvertently poisoning my efforts through the normal gripes and complaints they took home…

EXAMPLE: Soldier X tells his/her spouse, “my Team Leader Soandso is a doofus…” That made it hard for Soandso’s spouse and Soldier X’s spouse to have a normal social/support relationship. These conversations weren’t happening, or were happening less while the Soldiers were deployed. Instead, Soldier X’s spouse and TL Soandso’s spouse got to know each other on their own without preconceived biases, and guess what, they get along just fine.

So, if you’re having FRG challenges, all organizations are a little different. Take a step back and try to properly diagnose the issue…

These tools may help.

~Jeff