Your question phrases transitioning , but I argue that it’s not so much a transition to having the skill at the ready. You don’t transition to a time where you’re great at PT or rifle range, you just have the skills and apply them when needed. The skill I think you’re best looking to pinpoint, define, and practice is Empathy.

It’s not inappropriate to show concern for a Soldier, it’s how you express it that requires tact. A soldier who just got off Emergency Leave for a family death? Absolutely ask them how their time with Family went – this should be a secluded, but comfortable conversation, perhaps when you’re inventorying Arms Room if they’re your Armorer or when walking across the parking lot after PT. When I had a Soldier who miscarried her pregnancy, I’d bring it up when she’d come into my office to drop off routine papers and ask how’s she’s doing. I’d then use the specific language of her condition – “How’s the pain today? I noticed SSG worked out with you instead of swimming this morning, how did that PT feel? I understand why you weren’t comfortable with swimming, good on you for communicating that and looking for alternate workouts to stay in the groove. Have you talked to your PCM? How’s your husband doing?” Use open ended questions that also directly address what you’re concerned about. To me, using the vocabulary for the situation shows them your confidence of a leader (that you aren’t afraid of the condition and are here to guide them through that, even if you do think it’s “icky” to talk about), as well as encourages them to use the vocabulary themselves (you’re breaking the ice for them).

Also, address what you’re seeing and notice their verbal and non-verbal reactions day-to-day. Are they having twice as many energy drinks, cigarettes, or coffee as normal? Are they complaining about how tired they are? Are you seeing them be drowsy or head nod during a standard task, especially one they usually rock? Or the opposite – are they bouncing off the walls and driving you nuts? It’s definitely not inappropriate to be doing spot checks on everyone, and then mention a hi-how-are-ya to them while you chat about the task at hand.

Another way showing concern for a Soldier might manifest is through conversation with your NCO and seeing what they’ve observed or done. There might be minimal need for you to engage with the Soldier beyond displaying to them that its a team effort with you and the NCOIC/PSG. Just some more food for thought.

A few closing thoughts on empathy: If you see someone in need, be brave enough to approach them about it. There will be things that Soldiers try to hide OR that happen so fast you won’t ‘read it’ before they could tell you (like a family death or illness). But how amazing would it be if you were the one with a tough situation and your first-line leader came up to you and said, “hey, noticed you looked upset/tired/etc. lately…”. Wow! You don’t have to summon all the personal courage to tell on yourself to your leader (because you don’t want to look like you’re complaining) or maybe feel like you’ve got to keep your mouth shut just because you’re having a fight with your BF/GF. That’s the hard work, opening that door. It’s so much easier to move into that conversation of “yeah, this training schedules been rough on the family, it’s hard to juggle it with my spouse’s illness.” Respond in kind, if you can truthfully. “Yeah, I remember when my Dad was sick when I was at JRTC, that was stressful for me. (slip in a commonality – It was hard to find the time to call home) (and then a way for the unit / external resources to help – But my PSG/PL/CO and/or MFLC really helped me with some good approaches at that time. You should try X, too). You’re making this interaction personal – you may be an officer, but you are not a robot – and showing a bit your personal experiences helps show that they aren’t weak for experiencing this, it’s called being human. Also, you’re giving them actionable things to do that are professionally appropriate and personally productive in a tough time.