Involuntary Separation: My Transition Story

Awhile ago, Ray asked me to be a part of the JO Forum’s volunteer team, working behind the scenes to help benefit the community of junior officers. When he asked, I was in an awkward phase of my ultimately short stint as an Army Officer. During our dialogue, Ray expressed that I could still contribute and be a part of the Forum even if I ended up being separated from service, which I was. He also encouraged me to share my transition experience with the Forum. It has been quite a tumultuous transition; but one that I believe has left me and my family better off. It’s a bit of a lengthy read, so bear with me please…

I commissioned in May 2016, finished Ordnance BOLC in November 2016, and finally reported to my unit at Fort Bliss, TX in January 2017. Unfortunately, my journey towards the exit door began almost immediately. I was flagged during in-processing SRP since I failed the hearing test (I had to receive a waiver for my hearing to get in to USMA, and they ended up switching my branch two weeks prior to graduation/commissioning as well so I assumed I was in the clear at this point). However, since my unit was slated to deploy to Kuwait in October 2017, I had to go through the MOS Administrative Retention Review (MAR2) process starting in February. Basically, the three outcomes of the MAR2 are: 1) remain in current MOS, 2) reclass to a different MOS, or 3) refer to Medical Evaluation Board (MEB). I was assured by most people involved that I would likely see either Option 1 or Option 2 (and I was actually hoping for Option 2 so I could reclass to MI instead of staying in Ordnance).

Fast forward to mid-August, during the middle of an NTC rotation-my commander pulled me aside and showed me the email he received from our BC stating that I had gotten Option 3 and was being referred to the MEB. I was crushed. I had spent months jumping through hoops for the MAR2, getting letters of recommendation to drop a VTIP packet if I got Option 2, and done my best to take care of Soldiers and help our unit prepare for NTC and Kuwait—all for nothing. Once I got back to Fort Bliss, I started the MEB process and was told that about 90% or more of Soldiers who get referred to the MEB get separated. I was told to start looking at places to live, look at jobs, and get the ball rolling with Soldier for Life-Transition Assistance Program (SFL-TAP). Part way through the MEB process, my attitude changed from one of defeat to one of resentment—the Army had been yanking my chain for months, might as well separate me if that’s all that’s going to keep happening.

That feeling quickly passed and was replaced with conflicting emotions. I was happy and excited at the prospect of starting a new career in a place where I wanted to live and get to spend more time with my family (at the time it was just me, my wife, and our daughter. Now we have twin boys not even a week old). However, I felt guilty about leaving my Soldiers and my unit right as they were about to deploy. That guilt was further compounded by desire, from youth, to follow in my dad’s footsteps. Since I was three, I had wanted to be a door-kicking, snake eating Green Beret just like he was. He set a high bar, and I felt obligated to do no less in service to my country. And now I’d be leaving the Army before he was. I joked with him about it, and he laughed.

Eventually, my unit left for Kuwait and I remained at Fort Bliss, as the rear-detachment battalion Executive Officer, biding my time until the decision on my MEB came. I received my “unfit for service” determination before well before Christmas but had to wait for the final approval and ETS orders to come through. At this point I had come to terms with my transition—I had my wife and daughter settled in Colorado where we wanted to live, I had a job all lined up, everything was all set. Just waiting for the final approval. Finally, everything came through and I had an ETS date of 8 February 2018. I don’t think I was ever more frustrated with CIF after washing a sleeping bag (that I had not used in the year since they issued it to me) three times before they cleared me. But finally, I got all my stamps, got my DD214, and had Fort Bliss in my rearview mirror.

Everything was just peachy, right? After all, I said before that I was all set. Wrong. I started with my new job about a week after my ETS only to realize I’d been slightly misled by the company about the pay structure and how much I’d have to rely on a personal, local network for clients which I did not have since I had just moved to the area. So, I tendered my resignation, and began my job search again. In hindsight, I did rush into the job to a degree and probably did not research all aspects of the job/company with as much scrutiny as I did from that point on. In the midst of all this, I was also reaching out to the Colorado Army National Guard to see if I might be eligible to continue service that way. After some sporadic chatter, communication with them essentially fizzled out. I broadened my scope a little and reached out to the Air National Guard as well, with similar results. Luckily, I managed to secure a fairly lucrative part-time job at night but was still seeking an elusive full-time career-type position.

For the better part of three months, I went through a cycle of diligently applying to various positions, then preparing for a flurry of interviews, second interviews, and scrutinizing a handful of offers none of which were the right fit. This lasted until mid-May when I received a phone call from my now boss, Janet. She is the president of a small, but reputable construction company right near where I live. She had come across my resume from a job I applied for with her brother’s company. She and two of her brothers all own construction companies in Colorado and frequently work very closely together. When she called, I was in the process of receiving a job offer from another place but decided to delay acceptance so I could go through the interview process with Janet. I cannot express just how glad I am that I did. After an initial interview with Janet and a secondary interview with her and the operations manager for one of her brothers’ company in the span of three days, I received a job offer.

This just goes to show how lucky I am. My first day with Janet’s company, HD Inc., was on May 21^st. I went through a week of training, and Saturday night, the 26^th, my wife (just shy of 37 weeks pregnant with twins) and I went in to the hospital and ended up having our boys delivered on the 27^th. After things had settled down a bit, I let Janet know and once she had congratulated me, she immediately told me to take care of my wife and family, enjoy the time with them, and that we’d go from there work-wise. I can’t think of many places that would hire someone, have them work for a week, and then be okay with them taking about two and half weeks off to be with there family. In any case, I definitely feel blessed to have found a good job with a great company and a culture that I mesh well with (a lot of veterans and hockey players).

This brings me to the present. Having finally secured a stable civilian career and welcomed the two newest additions to my family, I feel as though I have fully “transitioned.” I am quite happy now, but I still frequently find that I miss the uniform, and truly serving something greater than myself. It still feels weird to be called a “disabled Veteran,” and going to the VA clinic is somewhat uncomfortable because I don’t feel like I belong. Aside from hearing, I’m a healthy and able-bodied young man—I should still be serving. But, I plan on re-engaging both the Army and Air National Guard once I have caught my breath and gotten a handle on being a father of three so hopefully I won’t have to fully hang up the uniform just yet. In any case, one thing that I will carry with me regardless of whether I put the uniform on again is the timeless motto, “improvise, adapt, and overcome.”

If you stuck around this long, I thank you for taking them time to peruse my transition story. My hope is that it might serve as a source of information, or more importantly, a starting point for questions or conversation regarding the many aspects of transitioning out of military service. Please feel free to comment or ask questions below, or in a separate message if you wish.

-Joe