Coach, Mentor, Sponsor: Why the Difference Matters
As a second lieutenant, I was eager to prove myself and quick to label anyone who said something helpful as a “mentor.” Fast-forward to my initial counseling in my first unit: my senior rater asked if I had any mentors. Without hesitation, I replied with the name of a lieutenant colonel. The truth was simple. I had spoken with this leader only a few times while at OCS and Armor BOLC, and I did not understand what genuine mentorship looked like. That misunderstanding became clear when my Battalion Commander called the officer, a former classmate of his, to confirm the relationship. The lieutenant colonel politely clarified that he was not my mentor.
It was a humbling moment and one that forced me to reflect on the different professional relationships. Traditionally, mentoring has been defined as a relationship between an older, more experienced mentor and a younger, less experienced protégé, whose purpose is to help and develop the protégé’s career (Kram, 1985). Over time, through multiple assignments and lessons learned, I came to understand that coaching, mentorship, and sponsorship are distinct yet essential forms of developmental support throughout an Army career. This article aims to help junior officers recognize these differences so that they can better shape their own growth and provide the right kind of development to others.
Coaching: Overcoming Obstacles and Reaching Objectives
According to FM 6-22, coaching is a technique that helps an individual or team through tasks or with improving personal qualities. A coach helps the person or team understand their current level of performance and guides them to the next level. Coaching generally involves some aspects of performance counseling, problem-solving, or professional development, and typically takes place within the chain of command.
Many Soldiers immediately think of their raters when they hear “coach,” but coaching extends across performance, wellness, and professional development. The best coaches guide rather than direct, using questions and feedback to help others improve. Quarterly developmental counseling is a routine yet effective coaching tool that raises awareness, sets expectations, and encourages honest communication.
My platoon sergeant and then my first sergeant played a vital coaching role during my growth as a junior officer. As coaches, they helped me work through problems in real time. Following a live-fire exercise, my platoon sergeant walked with me and discussed how I executed troop leading procedures. My first sergeant did likewise during command, walking through UCMJ decisions or personnel actions and allowing time for me to think, rather than simply telling me what to do. They coached me through less technical moments, too, such as how to conduct a counseling session or how to manage stress during a high OPTEMPO period. Those practical conversations were some of the clearest examples of coaching I experienced.
Mentorship: Long-term personal investment
The Army defines mentorship as “the developmental relationship that exists between a person of greater experience that is characterized by mutual trust and respect AR 600-100. Dr. Kathy Kram describes it best in Mentoring at Work. “In the profession of arms, mentors may come from inside or outside the chain of command, and the strength of the relationship lies in its personal, long-term nature.” The biggest lesson I learned about mentorship was that it cannot be assigned or assumed, only volunteered.
My first real mentor was my platoon sergeant. He had coached me through day-to-day challenges, but over time, our relationship grew. He did not just teach me how to lead Soldiers. He taught me how to care for them. His guidance helped me manage stress, build confidence, and recover from setbacks. That was when I realized a leader can coach you through a task, but they become a mentor when they invest in you as a person. As a company commander, my first sergeant filled a similar role. She knew me beyond the formation and held me accountable to what matters: standards, discipline, and self-awareness.
Real mentorship is not built on proximity or prestige. A mentor is someone who knows you well enough to invest in your growth. That is why I developed a simple personal test. If I could not talk to someone about a personal struggle, or if they did not know basic facts about my life, they were not my mentor. Mentorship must be rooted in trust and a relationship that grows over time.
It is also a two-way street, the mentee has a similar responsibility. The mentor and mentee should understand aspects of each other’s lives beyond the profession. If I cannot say something like, “COL X has been married 17 years and has two sons in competitive travel soccer,” I reassess the relationship and try to bridge that gap. You can succeed in the Army without a mentor, but a mentor can help you see blind spots and anticipate what lies ahead (Wagner, 2021).
Sponsorship: A New Level of Advocacy
Kanter (1977) describes sponsorship as an instrumental relationship that enables career advancement. She explains “sponsorship from above,” where a senior leader advocates for their protégé. Of the three, sponsorship is probably the least understood but often most influential. It is not the Total Army Sponsorship Program, which is designed to help Soldiers when they PCS to a new unit. The Army does not define this informal sponsorship formally in the same way it does coaching or mentorship, but its influence on professional development is undeniable.
A sponsor uses their voice, influence, and credibility to create opportunities that might not exist otherwise. When a senior leader chooses to advocate for you, you gain visibility and access to developmental spaces that hard work alone may not open.
What I came to realize later in my company grade years was that hard work is the baseline. The sponsorship I received was not just about effort. It was based on character, potential, and demonstrated competence. Sponsorship is often situation-specific. A battalion commander speaking up for you for a broadening assignment, or a brigade XO advocating for your place on a slating list, can change the trajectory of your career. They may not sponsor you forever, but in that moment, their voice carries weight.
Why Distinction Matters
Each of these relationships contributes uniquely to your development:
- Coaches help you grow through both structured feedback and day-to-day guidance.
- Mentors walk with you through long-term personal and professional growth.
- Sponsors use their voice and influence to create opportunities that you may not reach on your own.
Understanding the difference is important for your own development, but equally important for those you lead. When you understand what each role looks like, you can be intentional about when to coach someone through a task, mentor them toward long-term success, or sponsor them for an opportunity they have earned. That clarity strengthens your growth and theirs.
Confusing these roles can lead to disappointment, unrealistic expectations, and missed opportunities. Expecting a coach to invest deeply in your personal goals, or assuming a mentor should advocate for you in every room, misunderstands their purpose. Knowing what support you need and what you’re providing strengthens these relationships.
Paying It Forward
Leaders have an obligation to pay it forward. In the same way others coached, mentored, and sponsored us, we owe that investment to those we lead. Coach your subordinates through the challenges in front of them. Mentor those who need long-term development. Sponsor those who have earned the opportunity and would benefit from your voice.
I learned that lesson early when my Battalion Commander uncovered the truth about my “mentor.” Rather than embarrass me, he used that moment to define for me what real mentorship looks like. It was years later that I realized different people supported me in different ways: some coached me, some mentored me, and some sponsored me without my ever knowing. That is why I approach relationships with humility and intent. Knowing the difference helps you get the right support and become the kind of leader who gives the right support to others.
Three Things You Can Do Now
- Identify what you need. Decide whether you need coaching on a task, mentorship for long-term growth or sponsorship for an opportunity.
- Practice intentional relationship-building. Reach out to people who know you, challenge you, and invest in you. Do the same with those you lead.
- Pay it forward. Be on the lookout for chances to coach, mentor, and sponsor others. Your support may open a door they cannot open alone.
References
Department of the Army. (2022). Leader development (FM 6–22). Headquarters, Department of the Army. https://armypubs.army.mil
Department of the Army. (2025). Army profession and leadership policy (Army Regulation 600-100). Headquarters, Department of the Army. https://armypubs.army.mil
Kanter, R. M. (1977). Men and women of the corporation. Basic Books.
Kram, K. E. (1985). Mentoring at work: Developmental relationships in organizational life. Scott, Foresman.
Wagner, D. (2021). Coach, counselor, mentor: Separate and distinct. Military Mentors. https://www.militarymentors.org/post/coach-counselor-mentor-separate-and-distinct
Author Bio:
CPT Delonte Monk is currently conducting graduate studies in Public Policy Management at Georgetown University as a GEN Bradley Fellow. An Adjutant General officer, he commanded the HR Company in the 101ST Airborne Division (Air Assault), led a Scout Platoon in Afghanistan within Panther Brigade, 82ND Airborne Division, and has served on tactical Battalion, Brigade, and Division level staff. His follow-on assignment is within the Pentagon.
Photo:
U.S. Army Warrant Officer 1 Steven Herod, left, coaches Staff Sgt. Artur Shaylitsa during day one of the 30th Troop Command Best Warrior Competition in Tullahoma, Tenn., Feb. 6, 2026. The competition showcased the command’s commitment to readiness, discipline, and excellence by challenging Soldiers to demonstrate the skills, resilience, and warrior ethos required to succeed in today’s operational environment. (U.S. Army National Guard photo by Staff Sgt. Sheena Babbitt)
