In Tasha Eurich’s latest book Insight, the author contends that self-awareness is the “meta-skill of the 21st century”[1] required to improve oneself and become a better leader. The author differentiates between “internal and external” self-awareness and identifies barriers and tools to increase it. As leaders, we often pursue internal self-awareness by reflecting on our experience: recent decisions, major training exercises, etc.. However, how often do junior officers pursue external self-awareness? How often do we seek and gain accurate feedback from others? External self-awareness is simply “understanding how others view or perceive you.” Based on Eurich’s book and recent discussions within the Center for Junior Officers (CJO), this article discusses tools for how junior officers can cultivate sources of quality of feedback; how they can improve their external self-awareness.
Experience with toxic leaders – or at least leaders we don’t want to emulate – is ubiquitous. Just as we recognize failures in our leaders, we tend to think of ourselves as self-reflective and open to feedback. However, a lack of self-reflection and denial of feedback is one of the main attributes we ascribe to toxic leaders. So, we end up with a problem on the toxic to non-toxic arithmetic. If there is a significant portion of leaders who are toxic to subordinates, yet the vast majority of those leaders consider themselves self-aware, it follows at least some portion who consider themselves paragons of self-reflection are in fact toxic. How do any of us know we’re not one of them? How do we ensure our goal of self-reflection becomes a reality?
There are several techniques that are especially helpful in establishing true self-reflection and securing/internalizing quality external feedback. A leader must consciously humble themselves, develop trusted sources and solicit feedback from them, and model a rigorous counseling program within their sphere of influence.
While it may seem intuitive, junior officers must first humble themselves. Eurich suggests that leaders tend to overestimate and overvalue their own skills.[2] Who wants to admit they aren’t as good as they think they are – especially in an environment which rewards maintaining a ‘bearing’ of confidence and authority? Leaders won’t seek feedback if they don’t believe they need it. Furthermore, when seeking and receiving feedback, it is important that leaders actually listen to and understand others’ perspectives. All feedback is a gift: it provides insight into how you are perceived, whether you ultimately accept the need to change or not. If you hear nothing but good things, it’s likely you’re seeking feedback from the wrong places or are asking too vague of questions.
Not all feedback is equal. Those seeking external self-awareness should solicit feedback while differentiating between both good and bad sources. Whether from superiors, peers, or subordinates, this means thoroughly evaluating the sources of feedback. Some feedback may be given out of spite or from a source with limited insight, such as a one-off comment on a command climate survey. This doesn’t mean discounting negative feedback and only focusing on input that matches what your internal reflection. Rather, it means honestly evaluating the source of the feedback. Eurich recommends asking oneself, “Does this person who I’m asking feedback have my best interest in mind and will be completely honest?”
How you solicit feedback can impact the both the quantity and quality of the information you receive. Asking questions such as, “tell me about your strengths and weaknesses/ what can I do more of or less of…” can limit the quality of feedback. This question often arises during many counseling sessions but doesn’t help gain specific information. Rather, junior officers should solicit specific feedback. For example, a leader can ask, “what actions during the last major training event did I do that helped the unit or team the most? / what actions do I do on a regular basis that need to change for the team to be more successful?” By focusing on actions and behaviors, leaders can obtain examples of how their actions are perceived.
Further, junior officers should execute an effective counseling program and demand one from their subordinates too. Counsel every quarter for direct reports and at least every six months for those two levels down. Generic counseling statements can be effective for initial counselings, but that’s it. Every developmental/performance counseling should discuss and provide examples of what the subordinate did well, what they need to do to improve, and what rating you’d give them today if their evaluation were due. Counseling like this is tough: it takes time and moral courage. Most leaders aren’t up to it, as evidenced by how many leaders counsel poorly and/or ineffectively.
Another method a junior officer can enact to gain another perspective specific to their planning or policy is to use someone else’s voice to share a message or idea. Oftentimes other members of your team may not perceive the environment conducive enough to share candid feedback. Listening to your own idea from a different lens can help determine if your idea or message is half-baked or is adequate for the environment.
Ultimately, it is important to remember that seeking self-awareness is a continuous process. A junior officer must focus on humbling oneself, cultivating candid sources of feedback, and modeling these actions through an effective counseling program.
[1] Tasha Eurich, “Insight.” Insight.com
[2] Tasha Eurich, “What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It).” Harvard Business Review, January 4, 2018. https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it
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LTC Charles D. Hood is a military intelligence officer who has served in a variety of strategic and tactical assignments, including 2ID, 101st ABN DIV (AASLT), SHAPE, NSA, JSOC, DIA, 10th MTN DIV (LI), and INSCOM. He holds a BA in History from UNC Asheville and an MA in Political Science from Baylor University.
MAJ George Gurrola is a military intelligence officer and currently serves as an instructor in the Department of Foreign Languages at the United States Military Academy at West Point. He holds a master’s degree from Georgetown University’s School of Foreign Service and a BA from Texas AM University. He previously served in the 205th Military Intelligence Battalion; 3rd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment; and the 2nd Infantry Division.
