Relationships Matter

“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”

~ Henry Ford

 Relationships built with intent are the foundation of any successful team. They fuel your network, help you grow and create a lasting impact on your military career. As a junior officer two of the most important relationships you will ever forge is the relationship between you and your platoon sergeant and you and your 1SG. While the idea of pairing up with a seasoned NCO and building a dream team is exciting for a Junior Officer, it’s is also one of the scariest parts of your career.  I am sure you have all heard an NCO along the way tell a young officer “Sir/mam I have socks older than you” While it is funny and at times intimidating the truth is all that time equates to experience.  How are you going to impact the relationship? The success or failure of your platoon or company are a direct product of the relationship that you and your NCO have.

Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.”

~ Michael Jordan

Early on you will be challenged to nurture the relationship with your PSG or 1SG. There isn’t a cookie cutter solution for this task. Each experience varies. You both bring different skillsets and talents to the team.  The goal is to marry those together in a way that is most advantageous to the Soldiers and the mission to create an unstoppable force. Disagreements will happen. Disagreements mean that you both are trying to put your soldiers first and the mission always. Don’t let disagreements disrupt your road to success. It is your responsibility as a JR Officer to allow that experience to help mold you. Relationships matter.

When a young officer and their NCO counterpart have a strong mutually beneficial relationship comradery and productivity become the priority. Your Soldiers will witness this and mimic the behavior at their level. At the same time, it benefits you to understand that your time as a PL and CO will shape the rest of your career. Experience tells us that a young officer who leans on their NCO counterpart for guidance is critical. 

Three tactics to help foster these pivotal relationships

1. Provide clear intent and be a sponge

It is your duty as an Officer to provide clear and actionable intent. Your Platoon/Company will execute but they can’t do that with clear intent. Focus on learning how to provide clear intent from the onset of the relationship. Be open to constructive feedback as you continue to refine the way to deliver intent to your Platoon and Company.  A fantastic tool is to use a notebook to keep a running log of lessons learned from your NCO during these formidable years. I have one notebook dedicated specifically to journaling daily to best capture these lessons in real time. This will not only enhance your current relationship but set you up for success for the next one. Be a sponge for the knowledge they possess.

2. Engage in the counseling process

Establish a battle rhythm early on in your career that makes counseling a priority.  Both informal and formal counseling are imperative to the success of this relationship.

Formal: You owe it to yourself and your counterpart to provide a well-crafted and clear intro counseling to your PSG or 1SG.  Outline your expectations but also be sure to capture their expectations of you. The platoon or company belongs to them just as much as it does to you. Clear, tangible and concise counseling from the onset will allow you to focus on the troops and mission later down the road. I like to take the MFR approach when doing counseling with PSG and 1SG. It allows you to go more in depth on expectations. I pick 3 or 4 key areas that I would like him to focus on from the start. This is one of the first steps in building a transparent relationship where intent and expectations are clearly outlined.

However, it can’t stop there. Follow up with quarterly counseling’s that reach back to that initial counseling to ensure expectations are being met by both parties. Be prepared to iterate and refine to create unit success while continuing to work on that relationship

Informal: While the Army’s counseling process is critical the informal counseling that you have day to day with your NCO counterpart is paramount to success. Informal counseling can come in many forms. If you are fortune to be like me, you have a counterpart that engages in a constant feedback circle via text. My 1SG and I get more out of each other from texting at night then we ever would from the counseling process. This works for us. It may be something else for you, but the key is to compliment the formal counseling process with informal counseling as well.

As you continue to refine your counseling practices it is key to remember that formal and informal counseling complement each other. Ensure that you are building a battle rhythm that recognizes that both are necessary, one form doesn’t replace the other.

3. Build a bond

Platoon leader and Command time can be a lonely experience at times. You are just far enough removed by the rank structure but close enough to the troops that sometimes it feels like you live on an island. Your PSG or 1SG should be your go to. A great way to enhance the work you do on the relationship while in uniform is to build a bond outside of work. When the opportunity presents itself build a bond outside of the day to day military task. Find things that you have in common outside of work. For the cases where neither of you share a common interest consider starting one together. The 2-3 years that you will spend with your NCO can be the amazing or it can be painful. It is up to you to do your part to determine what that relationship looks like when you reflect on it. Make it a point to ask about their life outside of work. Lead with empathy. Experience tells me that when these critical relationships are only based in work related matters they eventually will break down. A solid bond creates trust in one and other. There is nothing more powerful than an Officer/NCO team that supports and trust one in other in all decisions.

“Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.”

~ Abraham Lincoln

Be committed to building the relationship. Your first conversation with your NCO counterpart is crucial. Be open about what you know and be open about what you don’t know. Be ready to roll up the sleeves and get after building the team. It requires work, nurturing and trial and error. At the end of the day the time and effort you put into building these pivotal relationships will impact the Soldiers you lead and your career. Keep working towards building the relationship.

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Jeremy Boeh is an Operations Officer and the incoming Company Commander for the 342nd CBRN Company. He holds a Masters of Business of Administration from Liberty University and a Bachelor of Arts in History from Wofford College. In his free time, Jeremy works as a consultant with organizations serving transitioning service members. The views expressed here are the author’s alone and do not reflect those of the U.S. Army or the Department of Defense.